How to Talk to Kids About Cancer Diagnosis in the Family: A Solution to a Family’s Most Troublevolved Problem
Farrell said that it’s fine if you look frightened or sad. “Kids need to know it’s OK to have those feelings, that this is a hard situation.”
She suggested saying something like: I’m a little scared about this too. It’s okay to be scared and we can be scared together, but I feel bad talking about it. but I know you’re going to be fine.
Farrell said that there is an impulse to say ” absolutely not!” when a child asks if you are going to die from this. But this could breach the trust between a parent and their child.
Finally, Farrell says that children should be able to maintain a sense of trust in the parent. They shouldn’t feel left out of the loop, or that they are not an important part of this family or not important enough to be told.
She encouraged parents to say “We are going to keep checking in and we’ll keep updating you as things happen” The most important thing is we’re still a family and we are going to continue to be the same family, we just have something hard going on right now.
Farrell says to then give the child some space to react, to sit back and ask “What questions do you have?,” and to ensure them they can come back with any extra questions they may have in the future.
Farrell says parents could begin by telling their kids that they have some news to share, that it is hard news and it’s OK to feel however they feel, but they want them to know what is going on.
Source: How to talk to kids about a cancer diagnosis in the family
What do you think about the privacy and space for Catherine, Princess of Wales, when she’s diagnosed with melanocytic leukemia?
She suggests saying something like, “Maybe you have noticed that things are a little weird around here recently.” I’ve been gone a lot, I’ve been in appointments, I’m on the phone more than I normally am and I wanted to tell you why that is.
She says that it is important for the child to know that they can get the best information from the family, and not from the internet.
She often encourages people to choose a comfortable space such as at home, “not in a space where kids may not feel like they can react or respond in a way they want to or need to,” she said.
It’s taken us time to make sure George, Charlotte and Louis know I’m okay, and to assure them that I will be alright.
I, too, was curious. There are lots of medical questions that we can’t answer and lots that we can’t. We want to know what type of cancer Catherine has, but we also want to know how she’s doing, so we have to wrestle with the issue of privacy and space for Catherine and her children. What is the nature of this very human desire to know these details? And is there a way to turn this instinct for intrigue into something useful?
I found myself thinking about this on Friday, when Catherine, Princess of Wales, made her cancer diagnosis public in a video. She did not share the type of cancer she had, nor the nature of the abdominal surgery she underwent in January after which the cancer was diagnosed. She spoke about the cancer she is being treated with and the people in her life. Which was enough for the internet to go wild with rampant speculation — just as it had for so many weeks prior, when people were grasping to explain her disappearance from the public light.